DON'T DO IT MAN

"You have reached THE LEGENDARY SWORD EXCALIBUR.
If that tea in your hand does not have TWO SUGARS, press one.
If there is no tea in your hand, press two.
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FOOL!!!!1!
This is a voicemail recording and your number-pressing is pointless!
You have been thwarted by THE LEGENDARY SWORD EXCALIBUR!
Please leave your message at the tone.
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I had a canary once.

BEEP!!!"